That Saturday morning January, 13th 2018, at 4 am, I woke up to the toilet feeling very uncomfortable and to my surprise there was blood on my panty. I quickly woke my husband up and showed him the blood stain. I remember sitting down on the couch contemplating to call the hospital because we are unsure of what the sign means. I was hesitant to call because I didn't feel any contractions and I'm afraid that I would waste their time at this hour. However, my husband insisted since we were unsure and it is best to call and ask. So I rang the hospital and the midwife invited us over to have a look.
When we were at the hospital, the midwife had me checked and told us it was just a bloody show. However, just to make sure, we have to wait for a doctor to examine me before allowing us to go home. After a couple of hours of waiting, at about 8am, the doctor finally came to examine me. He said, there was a trace of protein and white blood cells in my urine, and my blood pressure was high as well at that time, plus the blood (which he is unsure where it came from). He said this could be the sign that I'm starting to develop pre-eclampsia. Therefore, since I'm already 40 weeks pregnant, he decided for me to be induced and have our little Bub on that day.
After the doctor left, the midwife came to give us a little bit of explanation on how induced labour is going to be. She was saying that the drugs that contain Oxytocin hormone may or may not work the first time to start the labour and it may take up to 3 days and there is a high chance of emergency caesarean to happen. I remember I was so scared thinking that I could be in labour for 3 days and could potentially end up on the operation table. I looked at my husband and cried because I wasn't ready, are we actually ready? My husband calmed me down, he told me everything is going to be fine and to just focus on meeting our little Bub.
I was then transferred from the Triage to the labour room. Another doctor and the head of midwife came to brief us again about inducing labour. The doctor told me once they inserted the pessary strip, I should go for a walk to help quicken the process and also to have some food for energy to push later. I was telling my husband, ok later we'll go for lunch at the cafe then. So I was put on monitor for a while to check the baby's heart beat etc.
At 10.30 am, the midwife came and inserted the hormone strip. As soon as the strip went in, the pain started to crept in. I couldn't stand up straight nor walk. All I could do is just curled up on the bed and try to breath in the pain. It was very painful that after one and a half hour enduring the pain, I had to ask for some painkillers. The midwife just gave me some Paracetamol and Codeine. Even after the painkillers I could still feel the pain and I had to call the midwife again and asked if I could get any stronger medication. However, she doesn't looked convinced enough that I am in pain. She had me checked and I was only 1cm dilated at that time. Therefore, she suggested for me to have a warm bath to reduced the pain. I agreed to that and I was taken to a different room with a bath tub. She added some essential oils to the bath that she prepared. I was in there battling with the pain for about 2 hours. In my head I kept on 'berzikir' all the time and every time the contraction pain came, I imagined my vagina is like a flower blooming, opening wider and wider hahah
At about 5-ish pm, I couldn't bear the pain anymore. I called the midwife and begged her to please give me something even stronger to take the pain away but she couldn't give me anything and asked me to hold on for a little bit longer as she had to attend to other task. I was so frustrated because I was in so much pain that I couldn't sit still. Whenever the contraction came, there was blood rushing out. I was crying to my husband, saying it hurts so bad and it was to the point that suddenly when the contraction came, I felt like pushing. I told my husband I felt the urged to push. He panicked for a second and told me not to push. We called the midwife again and told her about it and a different midwife (trainee) quickly came with a push chair and wheeled me back to the labour room. When I was back in the labour room the midwife checked me again and I was 6cm dilated. At that time I was in very excruciating pain that I told her to give me Epidural. She refused and told me to have gas and air instead. I couldn't think straight and just agreed to that and as soon as she gave the nozzle to me, I inhale the gas in and out so quickly that I forgot how to breathe properly. She then calmed me down and told me to slowly take a deep breath in and out.
I still remember in between inhaling and exhaling the gas, I said to my husband that I miss my mum and also asked him to forgive me for all the wrongdoing that I've done to him, but my husband was laughing thinking I was high on drugs haha.
After 10 minutes on the gas and air, the midwife told me I'm 10cm dilated and asked me to start pushing. She guided me by telling me to grab on to my thigh, pull them up towards my body, chin down to my chest, big deep breath, hold it in and push as hard as I can. On my third push, the midwife said that she is going to break my water, but when she was about to do that, my water broke while I was pushing. I think I've tried to push for about 5 times but little Bub still won't come out. The midwife then said that she is going to call the doctor to help get the baby out and she said to me let see if I could beat the doctor to it. I finally gathered all my strength and started to push as hard as I could, without I realised there were about 5 midwives in the room cheering up for me. As soon as the little Bub's head came out, the midwife stopped me from pushing. Apparently his umbilical cord were wrapped around his neck. The midwife tried to get it off around his neck but couldn't do so. She then told me to push when instructed to get our little Bub out.
He finally came out after another like two pushes. However, they quickly put him the oxygen mask to monitor his breathing. They let me hold him for about 2 minutes before taking him to the Neonatal Unit just for further monitoring and checking. I was then stitched up and was asked by the midwife to have a shower after that. Everything was still blurry to me at that time until when they brought over my baby back to me for his first feed. My heart felt so full.
❤
